Monday, November 28, 2011

Girl Meets Boy Meets Awkward Meets Boy Runs Away

Happy Baby
Everyone knows what it's like to accidentally let it slip that you like someone and then have it get around to the person so that even if there was a slight possibility that they might like you in the future, that bridge is now on fire and if you tried to cross it you would burst into flame and die, that is how low your chances of success are. If, by chance, that person likes you back and finding out you like them just helps it along, then well, way to go, you win. I always like nice guys so if they ever hear that I like them and they don't like me back they are too nice to lead me on and instead AVOID AVOID AVOID! RETREEEAAATTT! And the sad thing is half the time I don't really like them, I just want to be their friend. It goes like this, I see good qualities in a guy, usually because I think they are funny, and instead of saying to someone, "That guy is cool. I should get to know him," I say, "I like him. I think I shall marry him," and then it gets around to him and for some reason he runs away. I get it though. If you actually thought I was a stalker I should hope you would take serious precautions. Sometimes I want to say, "I don't even like YOU, I just like the Jesus in you, don't be so freaking flattered." Because it's true. I see the Jesus in a man and I'm like, "I LOVE him!" which should and will weird a guy out if some girl they barely know is saying she loves you (I don't actually do that, don't worry). All I can say is, I can't help loving Jesus. It just comes naturally to me. But you can't like all the boys all the time, it gets tiring. Believe me, I've tried (Grade 2). But I've always liked to keep my options open for whoever God might happen to bring my way. I am the opposite of picky. I walk around going, "Maybe it's him. Is it him? Could be that guy. Maybe not that guy, but then again, you never know." Hopefully keeping myself open will pay off eventually and I won't be an old lady on my death bed getting a crush on all my doctors and random male janitors who walk by: "Is it that guy? He's still got two hairs on his head. Looks like a winner to me!" Gotta keep hope alive though, right?

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

How to Be Positive About Anything Ever

If you haven't seen this video, go here.
People who have never been depressed don't understand it (something I find hard to believe. How have you never been depressed? Has nothing bad ever happened to you in your entire life? Did a leprechaun come down from leprechaun land and give you his lucky charms? Don't trust him. He's no good.) Well, good for you! Way to not know what it's like to feel like nobody in the world loves you and that your dog doesn't even care if you are laying there on the ground disemboweled begging for a glass of water (dog's aren't very good at getting glasses of water, but still, harsh). Way to be perfect. But for the rest of us people who have experienced depression, we usually don't want to talk about it because it's somehow embarrassing, like saying you have herpes. When your mentality is ill it's hard to be objective about it because it is inside your very being and when you ask your brain, "Are you depressed or is this just who I am?" your messed up brain is probably just like, "F U self!" It's like expecting the protagonist of a book to try and figure out what the author is thinking. Think about it. They say cognitive therapy is really important, learning how to train your mind to think positively (for example, when Peter Pan is depressed he can't visit his love Wendy because he can't fly and she is getting old really quick so he gets even more depressed in a vicious cycle of unhappy thoughts. If only he knew cognitive therapy...). Some people need antidepressants because their brain chemicals are all messed up. Whatever your doctor tells you, try to stay away from drugs that end in "caine," "roine," "eth," or "juana." It never works out as well as you think. I'm going to try my own brand of cognitive therapy, which will soon be a best-seller self-help book. Here is a sneak peak from my book How to Stay Positive About Anything Ever.