Saturday, February 5, 2011

Dearest Dave Wallace

 February 4, 2011  

 Dearest Dave Wallace, 
         Why are you so famous now? Question: if I gave you a hug would I catch whatever disease you have that brought you to sudden fame and glory? What's it like to be on international television? Okay, so it was the local news, but still, if the whole world happened to be in Victoria then you WOULD be televised internationally, or, which is more likely, if every nationality were represented in Victoria (which it pretty much is) and happened to be watching the local news, then called all their family in far away countries, it would be pretty much synonymous with international television.
        Please remember to remember the memory of all those people who got you where you are today. I have no idea who those people are. There are probably a lot more people who have delusions of having gotten you where you are today than there are actual people who have gotten you where you are today. I, for one, am quite positive I have done absolutely nothing for you, so at least I'm not deluded. Maybe one time at camp I brought you a plate of food when you were working so hard on those Flash Burgundy videos. That's about all I can think of. But despite my lack of contribution to your stardom, I'm still going to ask you for one thing: if you suddenly get really rich in your new fame do you think you could buy me a pony? I'd really like a pony.

             Love from,  

Here is the video Dave Wallace and Dan Bennett made that went viral (see, it is a disease) and made them famous:

And yes, I will say what you are all thinking, it does look like Dave's doing the "suck it" motion that was all the rage in grade 7, but let's all be grown-ups about this and recognize that now I've pointed it out it's all you will see.

And here is the evidence of their international televised fame on A Channel News. For some reason the news anchor doesn't mention Dave's dance moves when clearly that is the most important part of the video.

They were also featured in the Times Colonist, "Video Strikes a Chord," as well as on CBC News, "Parody Hip-Hop Tune a Youtube Hit," and CBC radio. Dan's a rapper who goes by Transit and Dave's in a band called "Johnny Tango" which won CFox radio's band of the month for January. I know, it's like, enough already, we get it. He's good. In fact, he's so good, he made his own production company just to show off. This is his awesome website: Innovative Imageworks. I know it's awesome because
it's one of my "Links of Awesomeness" on my sidebar. Otherwise it would have no credibility and you would be wise to dismiss it as poppycock. However, as Dave already has a big head (probably mostly curls but also probably because of his oddly large brain), let's do everyone a favor and try not make it even bigger people, even though at this minute it's 95% likely that Dave Wallace is already living in his new mansion in LA with his authentic World War II tank in his garage and twenty chihuahuas at his feet (taken from my research of all things Dave, which you can verify by clicking here).

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