Trigon Commercials (Videos)

These are two of the funniest kids in the whole world:


"We're doin' business here."

Current Events

...are highly overrated. Why do I care what's going on in the world? Unless it is going to effect me in a personal, in your face way, I'd rather live in ignorance. Like I tell my family when I go down for a nap, on no accord may you wake me unless there is either a fire or a massive earthquake. If it's fire, I will probably wake up anyway from the blaring fire alarm, and if the fire is so bad there is no way out and I'm going to die anyway, I'd rather fall into a smoke inhaled coma than be conscious when I burst into flames, unless something phoenix-like happened. But I'm not sure phoenix rebirth would be worth it because then I would become a baby again and though there are a lot of benefits to being a baby there is also a lot of humiliation involved. As for a massive earthquake, like the one we are all going to die from when Vancouver Island sinks on August 21st, 2017 (educated guess, and yes, "we all" is a very puny percentage of people who live on the island), just because Y2K didn't work out quite as expected doesn't mean we are safe, fortunately the quaking of the earth often acts as is its own wake up call and it is unlikely that you will be able to go wake someone up from a nap and find a door frame to stand under in 0.5 seconds anyway. So you see, it's the same with current events. It's never worth worrying about fires or earthquakes (FYI kids, I am actually a huge enthusiast for disaster preparedness), current events are better to know about only when they set your house on fire with their immediacy or knock you over the head with their do or die mentality.

If you thought the above points were good ones, immediately visit your local psychologist.

Baby Politician's Are Better Than Adult Politicians (Video)

This is one of my favorite videos of all time. First time: watch her talk. Second time: read the subtitles along with it. I'm pretty sure I can understand this baby better than Stephen Harper.

Cocowhat?

Soy bean dreams

What's a vegetarian/almost-vegan-because-she's-allergic-to-dairy to do in life? I don't know why I make my life harder by my vegetarianism choices when I've already got dairy allergies. I guess I figure having my life a little bit harder is better than eating cute little baby lambs. But having allergies is much harder than being a vegetarian, especially when what you are allergic to is the main ingredient in everything good. It's a little bit like being allergic to rainbows. And it's not the lactose that my body has decided to be racist against. I envy the lactose-intolerants of this world. They can take a magic pill and make it all go away. No, mine is not a bloated, gassy, intestinal disorder but a sneezy, itchy nose, eyes and throat, coughy, asthmatic, genuine allergy (not that the lactose-intolerants aren't genuine in their afflictions) and allergy pills work for me when it comes to seasonal allergies, but not for dairy.

Accordion Kid (Video)

What makes a great musician? Like any artist, you need to love what you do. You can play out of tune and fall off the stage but if you've got heart, at least they'll say of you, "YEAH, BUT AT LEAST HE'S GOT HEART!" (said really loud because their ears are bleeding). And if this kid never makes it to post-secondary education, at least he has known love. For his accordion.

Star Wars and The Matrix in LEGO (Videos)

These people are geniuses. I wish we could all be so talented. And have a lot of time on our hands. These people probably also have bed sheets of Hans Solo and Princess Leia holding hands and have practiced to perfection the Chewbacca noise. I've tried. It's hard. Oh, and best to do in private.

Newbie

Hi. I'm a total newb at this. I started thinking, hey, these other people can do it, and a lot of them suck, so why can't I? Worse comes to worse, I join the Sucky Blog Club - it's a pretty big club so thankfully I won't stand out (that's one of the only clubs you don't want to stand out from). If I want to be a writer then I figure blogging is a good start. By the way, I want to be a writer. DISCLAIMER: I plan on writing whatever the heck I want on here, sorry, no apologies (ha...ha...). Unless you ask for one. If more than one person asks for an apology I will probably just make an "I'm Sorry About That" page with a list of people I have offended. How could I have possibly offended anyone? By wasting the time they could be using to sail around the world. (If  that were a true statement then it's unlikely my blog would in any way stop them.)