Potty Talk

This is the most uncomfortable post I've ever written, but I feel it needs to be addressed. BE FOREWARNED: the picture below has gotten me many weird looks at work when people pass by. If this happens to you, smile and nod.


Why is the line going to his feet and not the toilet?

Everyone poops; did you know that? No one tells you this, but everyone poops. Jesus pooped.  Dumbledore pooped* (see bottom of the page).  The Queen poops. The Dalai Lama poops. The Pope poops (his name is also close to the word “poop”). And the thing is, it’s actually not being able to poop that is the problem. I’m not sure if it’s because of its unappealing nature or the certain area involved, but it is uncanny how offensive people find the subject of poop. You can make any number of sexual innuendos, say the f word like it’s some sort of intelligent conversation filler, but there is something inherently off-putting about the contents of your bowel. It doesn’t matter that we use the toilet on average 1-3 times a day for just this reason, it doesn’t matter that it is a huge part of our lives and crucial to a properly working body. We absolutely adore talking about food but politely abstain from talking about the fact of life that what goes in must come out. It's science, people. It can’t just stay in there forever. But as much as people don’t want to talk about a functioning bowel, they 126.59% don’t want to talk about what happens when the system quits working (findings taken from Faith'sbook Study on the Colon). Such things are so shameful we either cringe from even the allusion of it or point and laugh at it like adolescent teenage boys.

Bike or Die

You'll notice the bikers on signs never have helmets on.
What kind of message is that sending to the children?

You have to possess great humility to be a biker. No, not a motorbiker with their sweet leather X-Men suits and spaceman helmets. A bicyclebiker. With their spandex and saddlebags and aerodynamic head gear. Riding the Galloping Goose every day, I see many flavors of bikers. But after some obtuse observations I find most bicyclers fit into two groups: those embracing the humble experience that is bikerdom, and those awkwardly fighting against it (or looking really cool, in which case I hate them). But if you're going to bother to bike, you might as well embrace it. Yes, it means wearing a helmet. I sometimes wonder if people who don't wear helmets when they bike think that their heads are made of extra special strong material, like maybe they've been injected with adamantium. That might be more realistic if they were riding a motorbike in an X-Men suit. Somehow I can't imagine Wolverine riding a bicycle.