The Second to Last Unicorn

I tried to read The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle which was written in the late 60's, probably the best time in history to write something about unicorns, but I couldn't finish it. I'm so mad because he totally stole the title for the book I'm writing. I just hope the title "The Second to Last Unicorn" is still available. I heard about the book from someone in my writing class who asked me what kind of books I like to read (I said I liked fantasy, the classics like Dickens and Austen, as well as pretty much any good fiction). And she recommended it. Who was I to argue? I mean besides the fact that it's one of my favorite love-hate pastimes (arguing). But I didn't actually think the book would be from the perspective of a unicorn. Let me give you a glimpse into the mind of a unicorn. "Hi, I'm a unicorn. I eat grass and sparkles. I'm spiky. And magic!" But maybe I am going about this the wrong way. Maybe if I read it as a kid's book, I would be like, "Whoa, what a good book," like the first Harry Potter book. I know some people didn't like the first one as much as the later ones, mainly because the first is written as a kid's book, and the later ones are more young adult (I think I would pee my pants if I read the later ones as a kid, but so many kids do! I mean read them, but the other also applies). I happen to love the first Harry Potter for its good editing and polished writing. I find the more I develop my own writing, the harder it is to read some of my favorite books, as well as the fact that I'm reading them as an adult. It is one of those sad facts of life, that things you love as a child just don't hold up as an adult. My favorite is rewatching movies I watched as a kid and thinking it was a good thing I didn't understand half the things they were talking about. It's like finding out the trusted mounties are actually just corrupt, sexist cowboys. And that's why I love unicorns. They can't be corrupted. They poop rainbows.

Pipe Dream

Yay! When I search "Faith'sbook" in Google now, it comes up with my blog first! Before it only came up with Christian sites trying to be clever, referring to faith as some sort of book when obviously "Faith'sbook" is a genius play on Facebook and my name. 

But, we can't all be geniuses.

This guy has issues.

Anyway, this post is supposed to be all about dreams. Not the kind you have when you go to sleepy-time land, the other kind that express your deepest, darkest desires. I have a lot of those - riding a unicorn, having a slide in my house that goes from my bedroom to the kitchen downstairs, getting an acceptance letter from Hogwarts, marrying Batman, owning a pet tiger that I can communicate with like my own personal daemon from The Golden Compass - you know, fairly average. But some people would like nothing more than to toss these particular types of dreams into the "pipe" variety. They would, however, be wrong and malicious people and would do better to pipe down, pardon the pun (but did you notice it?). Seriously though, have you ever wondered why a dream is called a "pipe" dream? No, it's not, as I previously assumed, because of the crazy ideas that come from inhaling drugs out of a pipe, example: Alice in Wonderland. No, it's because of that awesome old computer game "Pipe Mania" where you have to put together pieces of sewer drain before the nuclear waste comes and destroys the village, mutating the animals and children. Just like that, a dream that has a low probability of coming true is like trying to get ahead of that never-ending flow of TMNT ooze (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle for the unhip). It's just not likely. At some point you have to accept that the children will become mutants, be it turtle-boys with nun-chucks or wolverine's with shiny knuckle-knives that defy the whole "don't run with scissors" rule.